A beautiful bouquet of emotions

m a girl who wants to do everything every time. right now, I have a subconscious mind saying how come u r sitting at the office. how can everyone around be so serious abt work? I feel like getting up, doing some stupid things for example making fun of someone, something, roaming somewhere, going shopping, playing around with balloons hanging on the ceiling. there are purple and white balloons hanging on. and they look lovely. I can't help matching people's dresses with the ballon. everyone wearing purple seems cool.. I feel like crying.. I feel like laughing.. I feel like flirting.. I feel like flying.. I feel irritated..n pata nai kya kya, all at once. I am not able to focus on my work. I need to finalize the design and algo for my new work. That's a little tedious task coz it will affect the whole website. I need to think thoroughly before I do anything.

har thode samay baad, dil me ek ghanti bajti he jo kehti he ki bas ab utho iss chipku seat se and go have some fun. 

dil me baje ghanti, bole tan tan tan..

I sing songs the whole day. lyrics pata ho chahe na pata ho..kuch na kuch main har time gaa hi rahi hoti hu..

m I going crazy...whatever, it's fun :D

now, coming back to the topic, based on my feeling right now, u can say I want to be independent and free, do whatever I want, and not care about anyone. hell if they are watching me..but m restrained..feels like this whole world is chasing me. I can not just stand and sing loud and dance...wow that would be... ahh can't afford such stupidness. 

I feel as if the whole world is looking at me. I feel as if am beautiful and wanted. shayad i seek attention.

my boss just reminded me that we have a monthly meeting. I was so lost in me that dint even check the reminder. will continue writing blog once I come back.

writing in between meetings now. meri aankho me khushi ke aansu he! even my updates for last month could have been better. I could not even start the work that I was supposed to end!

probably m happy coz I laughed wholeheartedly when my boss's chair broke in a meeting.

then when asked what is planned date for my task was, I said I will give it later n nothing is planned yet. by the end of the meeting, I had a feeling that I have been doing nothing!

apne hawaa me jhoolte hue iraado ko mujhe shaant karna chahiye and i should focus on my work. this world is damn chasing me, everyone wants me to be perfect as per what they see perfect as. eg my mom wants me to learn how to tackle family issues, know everything, learn everything be it kirtan, housekeeping and to get settled. my father wants me to learn to cook. my boss wants me to know my aim and introspect. my senior boss wants me to achieve something big work for the company. my friends want me to be adventurous. some of them want me to marry and some want to marry me !!! lol

right now singing this song.. I feel young.. I feel free..na nanaa naa

Regression, Depression or Agression?... Choice is yours!

Life is like riding a boat in the midst of low and high tides. Learn to enjoy the moments and everyone around you when you are blessed with low tides. Just forget your past injuries, people who would have hurt you, or even the cases where you would have hurt people. Go with the flow and perform your best. Learn to be happy all time.

However, such an easy life does not last long. and it shouldn't as what's the fun then! How would you get to know more about yourself?

Now, when there are tough times, people around you seem not to care enough. you feel lonely and stuck. I have seen many people breaking into such situations. Most of them avoid discussing the matter, and a few of them start crying while discussing it. One of my friend's eyes is filled with anger while she discusses her issues. You could be feeling low. You could be around people who are making you feel low. It's solely your attitude on how you handle the situation.

You have the below options.

1. Regression: Forget what happened and start all over. but, by doing this you carry certain grudges inside you that may harm you in the future. it usually turns into anger.

2. Depression: You feel lonely. You keep imagining the situations in your head in an infinite loop. you try finding people to talk to. you start crying more often.

3. Aggression: You take on the responsibility of the situation on your shoulders and do something to correct it. 

I am not mentioning 4th option which is to harm something in anger as I would never want anyone to choose it. 

Know what you are doing, know what you should be doing and just go do it.

Be on your toes.